Fat as I am, Diva Mahima

Fat as I am.

Who wants to see a diva fat as I am?

I get mistaken now for Lainie Kazan.

How is it that I'm fat as I am?

Fat as I am.

The camera's gonna add a ton to my can.

This is the way they say Godzilla began.

How did I get as fat as I am?

"Try it again."

All of my friends say I should diet again;

That all my fans are gonna riot again.

"Look what happened to Liz."

All of my sinsare not as numerous as . . . all of my chins!

I could audition for the doublemint twins.

No one in the biz is as fat as I is.

Ah, but what's a career

when you put it next to knockwurst and beer?

They could park a DC10 on my rear.

God knows I got the gas!

There goes the chair.

But to tell the truth, I'm too fat to care!

I ate a meatball off the floor right over there.

Ah, you don't give a damn

when you're fat as I am!

John keeps his eyes shut around Malaika

Coming to an event without your fiance is nothing new... but coming and seeing a much more sexier girl, and trying to keep it in your trousers... is hard. So when John Abraham went to this Television event without Bipasha Basu, he had to keep his eyes closed... so as not to fall head over heels in love with beauty Malaika Arora Khan.

Akshay shows Kat the difference between him and Sallu

What is the difference between Salman Khan and Akshay Kumar? That was one question that always baffled Katrina Kaif. Until, Akshay gave her the answer. Or to be more precise... showed her the answer. "Mine is a little thicker and a little longer."

Aishwarya and Abhishek... well he is there...

For the past year or so Aishwarya Rai has never been seen at an event without her husband Abhshek Bachchan. But, at this event from yesterday, the Bachchan baby was not with her... where was he? what happened to him? Woh kyun nahin aaya? Well, we looked around and did finally locate him... he is in the above picture... Ash is holding Big B's little baby in her hand.

Salman gets a fright with spud and slug

At this recent Aids event... Salman looked like he had a fright... he was nicely sitting next to his girlfriend... sexy Katrina Kaif... when suddenly she morphed into an old-aged wannabe... and not only that... the two had produced a kid within minutes...

Amrita Arora's tattoo saves the day

Amrita Arora was showing off her tattoo to all and sundry... and I took a glimpse or two at it also. Love saves the day... hmmm... it probably does hunny... for you... you aint good at nothing else but 'that'... so when you're in bed with whats-his-name cricketer from England... it probably saves your relationship too... too bad it cant save your Bollywood career.

Dino's index finger spreading a virus

A virus is spreading around the globe. It is deadly and can kill within seconds. The origins of the virus were first not known, but after a lengthy research, it has been located... to the index finger of the right hand of DINO. Whoever the finger points to... woh bechara mo-rea....

Someone sat on John's face... Oops!

Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too
I love to hear you ORALIZE
When I'm between your thighs
You blow me away
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
I'll sit on your face and THEN I'LL LOVE YOU TRULY
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine
IF WE sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play
'Till we're blown away

Aamir begins to see BLACK taare

When he started directing his movie, he never expected that he would be seeing stars, even if the movie is titled Taare Zameen Pe (Stars On Earth). Looking at the above picture... Aamir has begun to see stars... and they probably are coloured BLACK.

Isha or Minnisha... Girls in Bottles

Well we have heard of Ship In A Bottle... but what about a Girl In A Bottle... Two girls are here wanting to be the first ever female in a glass bottle... Isha Koppikar or Minnisha Lamba... which one will get into the bottle first? Bets are on guys.